I had a similar experience in my marriage and finally summoned the courage to leave. Like you, it was more like a collapse at first and also like you, I turned to writing to help process it all. I slowly rebuilt myself and my life. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it turned out to be the best.
yes I totally relate to that. It was not an easy decision to leave…not least of all because most of my identity was wrapped up in that job at the position and status it gave me
Thanks for sharing! It’s like Sir Ken Robinson so elegantly pointed out in the best Ted talk ever: we go to school and are prepped to fit in factories and businesses. We all are made into the same mould. Unfortunately we are not the same and most of us figure that out later in life 😞 But: better late than never 💪🏻
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It’s really inspiring to see someone on the other side of the shift. I left my job 6 weeks ago, so I’m starting my journey now. I appreciate your wisdom & I’m excited to have a read through so more of your work! 🤍
This really spoke to me. I withdrew from consideration for a job this week because I felt a resistance rise up in me about going back into these types of environments and situations. Slowly building a life of my own design. Thank you for being one of the ones to pave the way.
Beautiful post. I'm currently reflecting on my own career, and even though my experience is different, I recognize so many of my own thoughts and decisions in your story. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone in this process.
Such a good read. I can relate. I've walked away from situations a number of times because I felt so discombobulated. Being true to ourselves is essential to our well-being.
I worked in two environments which do not value, teach, or pass on management skills: law firms (including a non-profit serving the underserved) and newsrooms. I tried for years to justify the abuse I and others suffered: that people were focused on the mission, or on the clients, so treating employees the way we were treated was in service to a higher cause; that seeing my name in print, or being a highly compensated lawyer, made it all worthwhile. It's taken me years to recover physically and emotionally. Until I read your piece, I thought these abusive workplaces were particular to the United States, and that being miserable at work was normal, acceptable, and a common experience. We're all in the same boat, so don't rock the boat by pointing out that horrible people rose to the top, in part by stepping on those of us underneath.
Thank you for articulating your experience. I'm so glad you got out. I, too, am in a better place, and I regret the wasted years being so unhappy and seeing other people suffer, too.
Glad to hear you got out and yes toxic workplaces exist all over the place…it’s up to us to just not tolerate it and if you can’t change it then leaving is the best solution
I thought the situation could change. As in your situation, it is sometimes only one or two people, and others who are afraid of them, but who still speak up, or try to. I worked for a magazine run by an ogre --I saw him fire someone who was two minutes late to the office (in NYC, where a lot can happen on the way to the office, this made no sense). I was horrified --the person was young and had just started working at the magazine--and said, "Everyone deserves a second chance; no damage done in the two minutes she was gone"--and he said, "Shut up or you'll be next." He sold the publication for millions and is doing very well. You've really uncorked a lot of experiences I've suppressed!
Thanks, Antoine, for sharing your story. During our reporting trip across Canada, we’ve met many people who have chosen to reclaim their lives by defining what an accomplished life means on their own terms. What’s especially encouraging is that many of the people we’ve interviewed are young. Best wishes with the next chapter in your life.
The pressure to keep up appearances and to conform to what should not be considered “normal” is a really. Happiness is measured by what you own and by your achievements and not real joy anymore. People have become disconnected, fitting in with the hierarchy. Speaking up takes courage.
It sure does. and not only that it takes a lot of patience. I have since heard that the manager has gone for good and that the situation is much better but I just didn’t have the patience to stick it out that long…it just wasn’t worth it for me
Deeply felt. Your honesty echoes in every line—the quiet ache, the reckoning, the strength it takes to walk away not in rage, but in clarity. I know that kind of departure—the one where the world doesn't explode, but something inside finally exhales. Thank you for sharing this moment. It reminded me that sometimes the most radical act of self-love is simply... leaving. ⚡
I had a similar experience in my marriage and finally summoned the courage to leave. Like you, it was more like a collapse at first and also like you, I turned to writing to help process it all. I slowly rebuilt myself and my life. Leaving was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and it turned out to be the best.
yes I totally relate to that. It was not an easy decision to leave…not least of all because most of my identity was wrapped up in that job at the position and status it gave me
Thanks for sharing! It’s like Sir Ken Robinson so elegantly pointed out in the best Ted talk ever: we go to school and are prepped to fit in factories and businesses. We all are made into the same mould. Unfortunately we are not the same and most of us figure that out later in life 😞 But: better late than never 💪🏻
Time to forge out own path
I appreciate the honesty in this telling.
Thanks Cassandra. I thought it was time to tell
This found me at the right time. The perfect time. Thank you 🙏
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It’s really inspiring to see someone on the other side of the shift. I left my job 6 weeks ago, so I’m starting my journey now. I appreciate your wisdom & I’m excited to have a read through so more of your work! 🤍
Thanks daisy and good luck. It’s good to allow yourself a break before locking into something new
Thank you!!
This:
“But the moment you start building a life on your own terms, you begin to reconnect with a part of yourself that’s been waiting a long time.”
Resonated with me so hard. When you put the work in and do things without worrying about conforming, magic happens.
This really spoke to me. I withdrew from consideration for a job this week because I felt a resistance rise up in me about going back into these types of environments and situations. Slowly building a life of my own design. Thank you for being one of the ones to pave the way.
Thanks Amy, I think trusting that feeling is so important
What a story....
Yes. What an experience
Beautiful post. I'm currently reflecting on my own career, and even though my experience is different, I recognize so many of my own thoughts and decisions in your story. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone in this process.
Good to see trough the illusions of modern life
nice image. makes me curious
Such a good read. I can relate. I've walked away from situations a number of times because I felt so discombobulated. Being true to ourselves is essential to our well-being.
I worked in two environments which do not value, teach, or pass on management skills: law firms (including a non-profit serving the underserved) and newsrooms. I tried for years to justify the abuse I and others suffered: that people were focused on the mission, or on the clients, so treating employees the way we were treated was in service to a higher cause; that seeing my name in print, or being a highly compensated lawyer, made it all worthwhile. It's taken me years to recover physically and emotionally. Until I read your piece, I thought these abusive workplaces were particular to the United States, and that being miserable at work was normal, acceptable, and a common experience. We're all in the same boat, so don't rock the boat by pointing out that horrible people rose to the top, in part by stepping on those of us underneath.
Thank you for articulating your experience. I'm so glad you got out. I, too, am in a better place, and I regret the wasted years being so unhappy and seeing other people suffer, too.
Glad to hear you got out and yes toxic workplaces exist all over the place…it’s up to us to just not tolerate it and if you can’t change it then leaving is the best solution
I thought the situation could change. As in your situation, it is sometimes only one or two people, and others who are afraid of them, but who still speak up, or try to. I worked for a magazine run by an ogre --I saw him fire someone who was two minutes late to the office (in NYC, where a lot can happen on the way to the office, this made no sense). I was horrified --the person was young and had just started working at the magazine--and said, "Everyone deserves a second chance; no damage done in the two minutes she was gone"--and he said, "Shut up or you'll be next." He sold the publication for millions and is doing very well. You've really uncorked a lot of experiences I've suppressed!
Thanks, Antoine, for sharing your story. During our reporting trip across Canada, we’ve met many people who have chosen to reclaim their lives by defining what an accomplished life means on their own terms. What’s especially encouraging is that many of the people we’ve interviewed are young. Best wishes with the next chapter in your life.
Thanks a lot :)
The pressure to keep up appearances and to conform to what should not be considered “normal” is a really. Happiness is measured by what you own and by your achievements and not real joy anymore. People have become disconnected, fitting in with the hierarchy. Speaking up takes courage.
It sure does. and not only that it takes a lot of patience. I have since heard that the manager has gone for good and that the situation is much better but I just didn’t have the patience to stick it out that long…it just wasn’t worth it for me
Deeply felt. Your honesty echoes in every line—the quiet ache, the reckoning, the strength it takes to walk away not in rage, but in clarity. I know that kind of departure—the one where the world doesn't explode, but something inside finally exhales. Thank you for sharing this moment. It reminded me that sometimes the most radical act of self-love is simply... leaving. ⚡